And, started to panick.

And, while I was panicking, I accidentally soiled my favourite white shirt with the blush, so I needed a change.  This meant: I was...late.
I run along the streets until I reached the palace of the university, and when I got there I was all sweaty, tired, and perfect my make-up and perfect hair, so carefully done... were rubbish makeup and rubbish hair. I found myself wandering all alone around the corridors, looking for the right room, trembling with fear and discomfort. I never thought that being alone in such unknown situations could be that bad; I mean, I had already probably felt the same on the first day of primary school, and middle school, and high school... but I totally forgot the feeling. I couldn't help but thinking about some of my friends, who decided to enter the same uni (without thinking about it seriously ) just to be together, and about how much I blamed them for compromising their future for such stupid reason... I still do it now, but in that moment of pure terror, I thought: "God, why didn't you choose to study fucking economy too, you idiot?You wouldn't be here now. You would be with your old school-mates, laughing and joking."

.... btw, the trauma lasted for the first three days. Then I slowly accustomed to the hard and tiring timetables, to the idiot people surrounding me, to the different kind of  the lesson and so on. I'd say now that I actually like how it's going, I love all the classes, especially German, German Literature and English.
Which were the reason why I decided to study Languages anyway :D
So yay.

I'll have my very first  exams around February, and let's just pray. I want to be the best, I have a damn instinctive avversion toward low marks : /
 

BUUUT! I'm not really worried about this stuff, now, truthfully: I'm happy, relaxed, most of all I feel loved, so so loved, by my friends, by my dog, and that's the best feeling ever, this one, to be loved. I can't imagine a life without real love, that sincere mutual emotion you share with few precious people; and the love for everything surrounds me, the cold outside, the warmth of my home, the warmth of the word "home" itself, and all those small things which happen everyday and most people don't even notice... this afternoon I smiled to a kid, and he smiled to me, and it was such a huge and happy smile, that I felt tears in my eyes.

I couldn't live in a world without these things. <3

YES. 

YES.

ABSOLUTELY, YES.

FUCKING. FANTASTIC.

"Today is my last day of holidays!" : pronouncing this sentence last year was like stabbing my stomach, while now I almost squeal it in excitement.
High school is over, on Monday I'll start University ♥♥♥
Don't get me wrong, I loved High School, and I'll keep all those precious moments in my heart forever. I learnt so many things, met amazing people, understood (a bit) how to deal with the world, with adults, with myself. I also went through bad moments, I also argued with persons I still don't like, sometimes I also lost faith in my own skills. Last five years were complete, and made me grow up, and I'll always be thankful to God for giving me the possibility of living them. From time to time, especially during the 4th year, I also thought things like "NO! I don't wanna ever leave High School! I wanna have these classmates forever, I don't want this to ever end!"...but last year something in me was different, and I simply knew that it was time to change, that those five years had been beautiful and awesome but now I needed something else to become an adult.

And it's coming, University will start on Monday and I feel ready for it.
I don't really care about what people is saying to me:  how though it is, how mature you have to be to go through it, how hard it is to study on your own so many huge books. I don't give a damn about this stuff because I want to study, I wanna learn everything, I wanna challenge again myself, I wanna be proud of myself again. I always loved studying and I've always been the best-- now, after three months of holiday, I just need to study again.
My parents are not really happy of my choice, they wanted me to be somebody else: my father is still upset as he wanted me to study Law, my mother is just scared that the study of Languages won't give me any job in the future. But I don't care: this is what I  truly  wanted, since I was 12: learn as many languages as possible and go living abroad once adult. So I'll study at University English and German, while I'll attend an extra-course of Spanish with

erydreamer91

I read few pages today at the hairdresser, and I totally fell in love. <3

and yes even though otp and ot3 are broken now, in my heart and fantasy they're not going to die!*tears*

ynwa <3
 

Good morning world!
It's 8:30 AM and I'm fully awake-- this is because I never went to sleep!
It's strange that when I dont sleep at all (not even 10 minutes) i feel energetic and ready and awake!
Does somebody know why?*wonders*

ANYWAYYYYYYYY

Here we have something newwww~ a bribes & leftover post!
I had to request something over jmusic_uploads, so I thought it was now finally the time to make a bribes post.
Here you can find mp3 stuff from (in alphabetical order):

I have some free time, and I decided to make this huge post with all (well...almost all XD) my vidoll stuff...
Not everything is mine, and i feel very very sorry; i've kept these files in an external hard disk for such long time, I cant remember which file is from which community D:
i hope the ppl who uploaded these first will understand me -- if you recognize that a file is yours tell me and i'll credit you -- : my only wish is to spread the vidoll love : ))))

i'll update this post everytime i'll add something new :3
for now im starting with making ofs ~

there are no exactly strict rules, just
x. comment if you're taking something-- that's all ♥

so here we go?

EXAMS

ARE

OVER

MY 

GOD

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

this stuff makes me feel sick, frustrated, sad, and i don't know what to do. There is nothing I can do.
So...I am just grateful for the beautiful things that fill my life, starting from the greatest ones, ending with the smallest; i wish everybody could be this happy...

:(